A woman comes to you…

A woman comes to you. She says she’s been abused. You look at her face. It’s evident that she’s stressed. Something is going on but you don’t know what. You ask her a few questions. She looks down, won’t make eye contact. Her answers are all over the place. She’s obviously confused, maybe lying. You don’t really have the time to try to find out. You tell her she must go home, repent, try harder, pray more. Do more to be a better wife, to try to make her husband happy. “If it doesn’t get better, let me know.” Patting yourself on the back, you relegate it to the back of your mind. “Thank you, Lord, that I was able to be there for her.”

A woman comes to you. She says she’s been abused. You tell her you know her husband. He’s a good man, a gentle man, a kind and loving man. There’s no way he could do the things she says he’s done. “You must be mistaken. You must have pushed him in some way. He’s never do anything like this.” She tries to explain but nothing she says meshes with what you are sure you know. “I’ll pray for you but the ball is really in your court. If you want a better marriage, you have to work for a better marriage.” You send her home but just for good measure, you call up her husband. “Your wife came in here saying things that I knew couldn’t be true. I just thought you’d want to know.” He gives you a sob story about how unbalanced she is. “I try everything in my power but it just never gets any better.” After promising to pray for him so that he’ll know how to help his wife, you hang up the phone. “Thank you, Lord, for letting me be here to pray for him and even for her. It must be so hard having a wife like that.”

A woman comes, asking to talk. She tells you that there isn’t enough money for food, not enough money for the doctor, not enough money for the power and the mortgage because her husband won’t give it to her. “Our children need so much but he spends the money on other things, I don’t even know where it all goes. It’s always like this, and I don’t know what to do.” You look at her clothes. She’s shabbily dressed. You look at her car. It’s top of the line. You know where she lives; the neighborhood is nice, upscale. She sees your doubt. “That car,” she says, “he insisted that he had to have that for business….” Looking back at her you tell her, “I know where you live. Your house is expensive. Your car is, too. Obviously your husband wouldn’t have made such important decisions without you. You need more money? Sell the car, get something nice but much cheaper. Cut out other luxuries. Move to a cheaper place. There’s a lot you can do to make things better. Maybe get into financial counseling. You need to learn to spend money on what’s important. We can’t help you.” She tries once again to explain but, really, there’s no explanation necessary. The truth is so obvious. You send her away, shaking your head as you do. As you sit down to dinner that night, you once again think about her story. Then you pray, “Teach us to be grateful for what we’ve been given, for the bounty set before us, and help us to always be ready to share with those in need.” Thankful that you don’t know anyone who is really in need, you start to eat.

A woman comes to you…. What do you do?

photo credit: Sometimes I Cry – I’m Only Human via photopin (license)


3 thoughts on “A woman comes to you…

  1. I have talked with literally hundreds of pastors over the years, from all across the US. What it seems that some American followers of Christ don’t understand is that the problem isn’t a few bad apples in most of the 501c3s. No, the problem is systemic… would you reply to an abused woman (or child) the same way these three men did? We need to build a network so we can have a better answer than most psychologists, and seemingly most ‘pastors’ in this country. ~ If he loves sinful entertainment, then he doesn’t love the Word of God and cannot help those who need help. ~ We need to have better answers than those wolves who peddle God’s Word for profit, yet deny God’s Words by their own rebellious actions and lifestyle. ~ Watching, Preaching, Praying, a growing servant/life-slave of Jesus, SH


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