More than an abused wife

Even though abuse has dominated my life, I am more than an abused wife. I’m a woman, created by the Lord, for a purpose outside of pain. God, not my abuser, has a claim upon my life. No matter what my abuser has said or done, no matter what lies he’s told, no matter what excuses he’s made, none of it can change who God created me to be.

I’m a Christian, a woman, a mother, a homemaker, and a homeschooler. I love the Word of God. I devour books, love words, and steal as many minutes as I can to write. I can’t imagine life without children or pets. I read cookbooks like novels, and easily get lost in the beauty of trees. I like to escape outside for a few minutes just as day is breaking and night is falling. I am created in God’s image whole and complete apart from my abuser’s definition or treatment of me—I just failed to grasp that for a long time. I gave up many of the things I loved because my husband demanded that I do so. I gave up me, trying to please him. But there was always a real me hidden behind the facade of the fearful, broken woman I became. Due to the grace of God, I’m rediscovering who I am.

The Word of God is sufficient to help as we seek to cast off the cruelties of the past, and embrace who God has created us to be. God, through His holy Scriptures and the application thereof, can help us not only to overcome, not only to survive abuse, but to thrive. We no longer have to feel like a kid standing outside of a candy store, with her nose pressed against the glass, looking at the goodies she knows she can never have—except, instead of looking at sweets, we looked at and longed for normal, didn’t we? For kindness. To be loved unconditionally. I know I did, and I imagine you did, too. But God fulfills all of that—and so much more.

It can be hard work peeling back all of the layers of your abuser’s lies but it’s worth it. You, just as God created you, are a fabulous person. Sure you’ve got flaws, we all have flaws—but there is a world of difference in having flaws and being flawed. Dear one, you aren’t flawed. Your abuser lied to you when he told you that. You are beautiful. You are precious. Anything you don’t like about yourself and want to work on, you can—but because you want to, not because he’s forcing you to. Always remember that you are worthy of finding you and of finding the freedom that awaits you.


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